Thought Disorder

Wednesday, April 26, 2006

Ugh. I'm seriously grappling with my (really, extremely) bad studies and grades. Feels like I'm en route failure. Dayamm):

Math is dayamm exhilarating (ie. area of similar triangles) uhm I don't know why I don't seem to understand it. 'Plus' point is there's math test tomorrow and well I'm betting that I'll be swimming in a sea of confusion.

I don't like this, especially being lost in math, in such an insignificant (and easypeasy to others) topic.

DAYAMMMM.

(ima work harder, ima strive, ima win, ima be the best)
If this was last year's resolution, so be it.

Oh God, please don't tell me this has been in vain
I need answers for what all the waiting I've done means
You kill me, you've got some nerve, but can't face your mistakes
I know what I should do, but I just can't turn away

11:55 PM

Saturday, April 22, 2006

Back. Hi I'm feeling really frank today so, expect me to spit at you.

Sometimes you're so indifferent and irrelevant you make me wanna punch you. Real hard.

I like holidays, the ones which we have and you don't. I like holidays when I spend half of my day sleeping, one quarter of the day having fun outside and the rest flopping around at home. (:

Today was semi-goody, a holiday apparently. Kay but I woke up exactly the time we (chyng, suyun, i) were supposed to meet. Flustered. This is obviously me. Yaye but anyway managed to rush down within half an hour or so. By then it was already 11, and when we started playing ball it was downright hot. A totally unattractive afternoon. And then it was too hot to tolerate so uh, we decided on macs. For the attractive aircon. Yaye. Went to get big gulp, I like(: Big gulp is good for money, like 1.60 for a large cup of coke of whatsoever mixed inside. Goody.

Then we sneaked into macs with them, but hey, we still bought fries to eat. Only finished a few physics questions (which are totally useless, I AM going to fail the next physics test, like yes I can foresee its loom) but that was all I did for the rest of the day. This is baaad and completely unproductive.

Went bowling! Two rounds. And now I proclaim my addiction to it! Except that first rounds don't hurt but seconds does take a toll on your fingers/arm. Eradication of bball. Which I completely suck at now, and don't bother anymore.

And if you surpass me I wouldn't feel the burning urge to overtake you anymore. So there, you can be the best so you're in a way titled 'perfection' in my eyes in everybody's eyes in the world's eyes. And I wouldn't care less, anymore. You officially win and I'm backing out well 'cause I'm jaded and tired of gibberish I would stop at no means to slap you hard with words and just walk away calmly. You would do nothing.

K so chances are you know I'm anticipating june 'cause I'm heading over to china, and executing opc, if it's still possible, hopefully. Yaye. I just hate disappearing all of a sudden.

I'm happy because I'm not thinking about anything except happiness.
(if it's the weirdest thing that i feel safest when i'm alone, i'm weird)

12:31 AM

Tuesday, April 18, 2006

Yes I'm tired, probably overwhelmed by exhaustion.

But you make me more tired. Definitely maybe. And upset as well.

Wrap up cold when it's warm outside
Your shit jokes remind me of Digsy's
Be my magic carpet ride
Fly me down to capital city in the sun

9:29 PM

Monday, April 17, 2006

There was this sudden revelation that struck me hard just now. I think there's something wrong with/in my life.

And to hell with these two weeks):
Sickly, test-panicky. Shivering arms and legs. Completely messed up mind. Yes I swear I'll go cold turkey for just the whole of this week (and probably the next, the next, the next, etc as well).

If you could save me, please, I'd be glad.

10:32 PM

Sunday, April 16, 2006

"Okay. Can. Have a good day. God bless."

10:45 PM

I got a story it's almost finished
All i need is someone to tell it to
Maybe, that's you.

7:42 PM

Well at least I realised I'm not at all important.

I'm tres annoyed.

And I am amazed you're standing still
Your problems, they aren't problems
Be glad they never will

7:21 PM

Saturday, April 15, 2006

YAYE.

I think mr nice guy is a total huge nice kickass rocker. Today's OPC was cool, save for nap's.

Anyway, my head's in a total mess right now. Literally and figuratively.

11:27 PM

Yaye today is good friday and I'd flopped nearly half of my day at home. Like, falling asleep on the couch while reading a book. And hey, that does sound quite familiar(:

SPORTS DAY

tou1 pai1 qian

ttg has a peculiarly "nice" outfit haha

DINNER

"i'm taking you taking me"

sticky chewing chocolate icecream is teh nicest.

goody(:

"i think i'll just have a cup of water"

"hi we're all hungry-happy people"

"we like baked rice, cheeeeesy"

yaye.

then they had dessert.

PRESENTING: EARTHQUAKE

the grand arrival of earthquake and like, we're feeling impatient. (!!!)
ps:be prepared to get messy.

but we're still patient enough to pose for a picture

aftermath

(look at the balloons and not them)

and when the receipt came,

they had a huge shock

balloon freakos outside boonlay mrt

i think this picture has many angles to it, no?

"hi i'm going to balance my balloon with my mouth"

"and i succeeded" (so did sebas)

guess who is this mysterious balloon figure. it's easy-peasy.

That's it.

12:57 AM

Why thank you, but riddles are not my forte.

Then why do I still have so many of yours.

12:41 AM

Thursday, April 13, 2006

I don't know, maybe I'm just not up to expectations. Maybe because I'd rather bury myself than create a commotion. 'Cause there's no need to.

Qian was seriously brilliant today like, she bagged champion!(: And we had class dinner after that all the way at jurong point (which was still fairly okay)

Pictures tomorrow. Gawd I terribly need someone to talk to now, but who.

11:43 PM

Wednesday, April 12, 2006

I'm seriously annoyed by some rigid factoids
If you think it's so damn easy
Then tell yourself you're damn wrong.

Hi paradigmshift- I totally cannot wait to abandon you. But I need you at times too. Yeah and I'm having annoying conflicts within myself now, like, paradigm shifts or the likes of it. Wait, I don't think I could even recognise myself, like, OMG I'M A FRIKKIN ALIEN and I completely deserve alienation and suffocation. (line up anyway don't come in hoardes)

OPC's second shot was a gargantuan pain in the neck. To think the barrage of questions left me semi-disconcerted (and guess we need much more research to pull it off perfectly). It was still like yaye, anyhow.

Jaded and riddled with uncertainty. Like, ugh sometimes I really hate you.
Stop making me zone out.

11:44 PM

Sunday, April 09, 2006

omg felicia tay zi xuan you just rocked opc.

the rest is history. we're going to have fun. guess we need shades, don't we? (np is sucha gullible and desperate ass please!)

felicias feeding on excitement! (:

12:28 AM

Wednesday, April 05, 2006

the past few days have been like rollercoaster rides. both emotions and experiences alike. but i've grown to recover from them. probably i'd made a queer and shocking discovery(s) that might have just unknowingly evolved my life in mostly positive ways. anyway, uhm i'm completely lagging behind in studies but, i realise, i don't care anymore! and uh, being busy is more or less a good thing.

okay i sound like a maniac. shan't elaborate. go figure!

i'd thought i'll just say happily that, hey i'm from dhsco.
like won't you go OMGZORS.
no kid.

11:38 PM

Sunday, April 02, 2006

saturday's concert was still pretty okay. but i was totally getting the jitters when we were queueing up to enter the stage. uhm and music wise, the night one was presumably better. anyway, i did try to squeeze some emotions out of my nervousness and anxiety and kinda succeeded. matter-of-fact, just semi emotions.

i'm not that emotional afterall.

was entirely enervated like a dead ass and completely craving for a good night's sleep.

so that was yesterday. today was half fun, for an hour or two. right after tuition, amelia and i went to ice monster to have mango sherbet topped off with mango ice-cream. twas delicious. heavenly(:

later we went to some shop near toni and guy academy to purchase orange hair spray. we were like
amelia: oh shit what's the time now?!
me: uh 4.54pm.
amelia: oh shit the shop closes at 5! damn!

and we started running along the long and winding corridors only to find that the shop was closed. like wlao. uhm but amelia started to knock the door there and the shopkeeper opened it and allowed us in to get the hair spray(: we were just in the nick of time to help him do his daughter's survey. omgzors the shopkeeper was from dhs previously, graduated in 75. strange coincidence.

the shop's pretty cool! they had pretty gothic stuff, somewhat like halloween props and costumes. coolios.

we had a go at the hair spray. orange hair! but it turned red somehow. blooday. hair spraying is no easy feat, and attempting to highlight hair is a worse task! but we still looked cool eventually. no pictures because my petty mum kept the camera (she fears i'd spoil it!) that's dumb.

then we went to bugis to look for a mini skirt to get for amelia. uh i think those from bugis street are of lousy quality. but anyway, i manage to persuade amelia to get one from FOX. cost her a huge 43! bet it didn't hurt. 'cause amelia looks particularly hot in that skirt and also this 29 costing top, but unfortunately she couldn't get the top. so we were all happy(: after a delightful and helpful serving of mango sherbet and nicely coloured hair (uh actually it was quite badly done we just sprayed randomly)

the models in the fox magazine are hot! :D

so anyway, i gotta go start doing my chinese compo, that one which has a totally idiotic topic. well did i mention how much i love chinese?

10:25 PM

About

Felicia studied in Dunman High School, loves elmo, is a major drama addict and is a cake lover. She has quit coffee even though she loves it.